High School Blog
Aaron Chasteen’s Testimony
Aaron Chasteen’s Testimony
So, Aaron, when did you become a Christian?
I was “saved” at the age of five, but I only did it because my twin sister did and I wanted the attention she had (greedy right?). A year later, at the age of six, I truly felt God calling my heart and I went down during invitation to get saved.
What was it like for you growing up?
When I was three years old, I developed a stutter. I didn’t really care about it for awhile; I just accepted it as who I was. I received speech therapy when I was little, but nothing really changed and I didn’t care. It was just who I was. I was homeschooled during elementary and middle school, so it never really bothered me.
How did your stutter affect you as you got older?
After eighth grade year, my parents told me that they were sending me to public school. That’s when it really got interesting. I kept thinking to myself, “Who’s going to want to talk to a stutterer like me?” I mean, I was really scared about fitting in because of the way I talked. So finally the first day of school arrived, I was so scared I actually got sick. No one talked to me, and at lunch, I sat down by these two girls because it was the only seat left, and they got up and left. So I sat there and ate lunch by myself.
My high school career wasn’t looking very promising. Finally, a group decided to take me in. I was thrilled to be accepted. As time went on, they kept asking me why I didn’t cuss and why I didn’t dip. Finally, I gave in to cussing and swore like a sailor at school and lived my normal life at home and church. I felt so two faced, but I brushed it off to have some kind of friendship.
How did your school relationships affect your relationship with God?
I really tore myself away from God after that and didn’t care about anything anymore. I was finally able to “fit in” at school. The school year starts to come to an end but I still didn’t try to rebuild my relationship with God. I developed depression, but never told anyone. I would put on a happy face pretend like it was nothing.
When did things change?
About halfway through my first semester of sophomore year, the teacher asked me to give an answer to the class and I was ready (so I thought). I opened my mouth to give her the answer, but nothing came out but little sounds. It was horrifying. The whole class turned to see what was happening and all I could do was try to push it out. I finally got the answer out, but the cat was out of the bag, everyone knew my secret.
What happened once everyone knew your big secret?
I soon started getting mocked and my worst fears were coming true. All my friends left me except three. The semester went on and I was able to hide my stutter better. But I knew something had to change with my speech, but more importantly with my relationship with God. I decided to get a speech therapist through the school system and get serious about fixing it. I wanted to change.
So, what needed to change in your life?
Like my stutter, my relationship with God really struggled. I was seeking help from my speech therapist about my stutter, but I still never took action with God. This lasted until Summer Camp last summer. I knew I would have a great time, but then again, I knew I would have to speak to my team during team time. Luckily God helped me speak fluently every time I had to speak to my team, and I finally realized that. When we got back from camp, my stutter came back worse than before and I cursed God for giving me a stutter and making me live this way. Slowly, I went back into depression, but again I put on my happy face everywhere I went.
A couple weeks later at Elevate, we Exodus 4:10-12 which really hit home for me. “Moses said to the Lord, ‘O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.’ The Lord said to him, ‘Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.’”
What was your reaction?
After that verse was read I sat back in my chair and thought to myself, “Wow, how foolish am I?” God knew what He was doing when I developed a stutter, He wasn’t punishing me. People see it as my weakness; I now see it as my advantage. I’ve heard it said, “God will never put you through a situation if He doesn’t think you can make it through it.” and that is so true. I shouldn’t have to change myself to fit in at school. Yeah, I still get mocked by people. And most of them just don’t know that I stutter cause I’ve hidden it for so long. But God showed me that there’s no need to change myself.
What have you learned from this experience?
Now, God has provided me with good friends that accept me for who I am. My stutter still needs improvement and so does my walk with God, but I’m finally on the right track. No one said life was going to be easy no matter what your flaw may be, but God doesn’t view it as a flaw, He views it as an advantage. I’ve finally accepted myself for who I am and I know that God loves me.
Perspective
This past week I attended my great grandmother’s funeral. She was a Christian so the service was sweet and hopeful of seeing Granny in heaven some day. I got to thinking about how fast life goes. Some people live to be 97 while others never have their 8th birthday. Simple moments pass by quicker than you think. Spring Break is over, freshman year is over, your childhood is gone, people move away, relatives pass away. The goodbye’s and changes can be sad and depressing. I tend to keep the moments by making them never end. I will hold on to the blessings in my life, like I deserve them. I was reminded what God has to say during this time of transition.
“For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life because of Me will find it.” Matthew 16:25
The more I hold on to this life, the more it is lost. If my complete focus and devotion is on Jesus Christ, then He promises blessings in heaven and during this life too. If I’m more concerned with my own life and self centered on myself, then the quicker my life flies by. God desires me to give up my own will, my version of what I want my life to be, and let Him take control. We can’t always understand God’s way when life seems like an emotional roller coaster. Except, I’m continually reminded that when I surrender daily to God my life, I then am able “to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God,” (Romans 12:2). God gives us the blessings in our lives in the first place, so who are we to get angry at God for taking them away? He has a plan. Why question Him?
It’s difficult to not worry and be content about what the future may bring. The Bible teaches in Philippians 4:6-7, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This encouraged me because the Bible gave me almost a formula of what to do when I worry. PRAY. If I pray to God presenting my petition or request, with a thankful heart; then He promises to give me His peace which will guard my heart (emotions, fears), and mind (thoughts, doubts) in the name of Jesus Christ.
No matter how great of an experience we had at a camp or event, or how much of an impact and significance that happened in one night, we must move on. I reflect on moments of great importance as battles conquered or happiness achieved. But the battle moves on. Psalm 30:5 says, “...weeping may spend the night, but there is joy in the morning.” With a new day comes new battles, opportunities, adventures, and people. We have been authorized to move forward by the Commander in impacting our world by Jesus Christ. So advance!
“...forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14
Him for Him
This morning I rose from sleep with a very tormented spirit. Even now I am fighting back the evil thoughts of the enemy. As I read through the Psalms I poured out my heart to God, as if my afflicters were right on my tail. The weight of the world was upon my shoulders, or so I thought. Then, as I neared the end of study time, I landed on Psalm 6 and some welcoming words from my Father in Heaven.
“Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.” (v. 8)
Then, with the turn of a page…
“The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer. All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.” (v. 9-10).
My initial thought was, “God, I just need some grace right now. I need some unmerited favor.”
Then I turned to Romans 5:8, which says…
“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I cannot put a price on His grace and He is teaching me that the only response to grace He accepts is a sacrifice of thanksgiving. A heart of praise. A mind to continually seek Him and pursue His heart.
The only thing He wants is me.
When was the last time I could say that that was my thought process? That I thought about and prayed to Him continually all day? When I pulled out my guitar and praised Him just for Him? When I got up and read not for direction and discernment but just for Him? I find myself in a different boat than the average Christian but still tied up to the shore.
